Well, as I embarked on my first summer working full time at my job, I have a feeling I'm my teams Holiday Hannah. Our department is fairly large, but my team is only made up of the three of us and guess who is the only one who is single and without kids? You guessed it, ME! So I usually work a 196 calendar and when I took on this new role I was the only one able to take on the 241 calendar so that the work could get done during the summer in order for our program can get off an running once the teachers return to school. It's not all bad, it's just that I am automatically looked to when someone can't stay late or come in on off days.
Granted staying busy often is helping me as I deal with my grief, but now as I work my ass off everyday, I would love to come home to someone and share my day, get a massage, and actually eat dinner with people other than the characters on TV. These times have caused me to almost backslide and hit up my ex just to have company and someone to chill with once I get off of work, but I already know that will be a recipe for disaster because he has made it crystal clear he wants us to get back together. You may be saying well, there you go you have someone who wants to spend time with you and start a life with you, but that ship has sailed the feelings are gone. I am definitely open to dating because a situation I thought was going somewhere clearly isn't and conversations turned into " I can't wait to see you" and "when are you coming?" to "I'll come see you sooner or later" yet the way my heart and time is set up that's just not gonna cut it. Yes, feelings are still there for that person, but I can no longer sit around and wait for him to realize what he wants, hell, if it's even me.
Now about getting chose! I decided to shoot my shot this weekend and see if I could meet up with this guy I met a few years back. We were introduced through a mutual friend who went to college with us since he was moving down here and his friend wanted him to know some people in the area. When I initially met him, I didn't think twice about taking it there with him, he was just a really cool guy. Let's fast forward to a few weeks ago. He's been popping up on my timeline a lot and I'm starting to realize he has a lot of the qualities I want in a husband, and no I'm not trying to marry him tomorrow, next year maybe, but not tomorrow. So I reached out to his friend who introduced us to run a "background check" make sure dude is straight and not in a relationship so I don't go out on a limb and realize I'm out there by myself. The convo ended with him saying " Go for it!" I was gonna hit him up in the DM, until I realized I still had his number saved in my phone, so in this situation I can't say "it went down in the DM" #lesigh. After I hit him up I started to get nervous like hmm what will his response be, is this even his same number cause it took him so long to hit me back, then boom, I get a text, hella exclamation marks asking how I've been and the flirting started ( well in my mind it did). I made the suggestion we should meet up this weekend, however, just like me he travels a lot and won't be in town, but he said we definitely... well actually he said "for sure" we need to meet up when he gets back in town. That gave me some hope and he didn't blow me off. We didn't talk enough for me to hit him with a "Good morning" text the next day, but I did text him this afternoon to see if he will be in Atlanta for Be Out day, and great news he will be!! So our friend that introduced us will be putting together something so we'll get to hang, and I'm looking forward to that. I just pray this goes somewhere, and I don't mean just around the block, but somewhere far if we click when we link up. I shall keep you posted, until then I'll leave you with the words of the Great Bun B.
"....you know the game and how it goes, we tryna get chose!"
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